There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
