Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
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Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
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I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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