walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
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I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
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OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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