just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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