Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
