he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
i out mim tonsoeep
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