i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
