I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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