i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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