True but thats because hes a fetus.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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