That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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