she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
