she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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