It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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