I'm laying in your front yard are you home
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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