Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Randomize
