i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
