I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
