This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
