So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
