Already got asked if we're dating
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I need a burrito and a hug.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
