it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
