I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
too bad you live with your parents still
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
