I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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