You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
