just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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