i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Operation Purity has been aborted
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
