They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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