Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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