Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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