Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
