i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
