All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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