So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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