i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
