You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize