dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
