the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
