Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
