It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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