He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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