i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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