i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
Hypothermia
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize