Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
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I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
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He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.