Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Mmmm, vodka for breakfast

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  (404): Mmmm, vodka for breakfast http://tfl.nu/n4af
  Replies (16) Good night (3081) Bad night (773)
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  (760): View more from California

  Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.

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  (760): Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint. http://tfl.nu/71cw
  Replies (32) Good night (6477) Bad night (732)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.

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  (719): Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete. http://tfl.nu/49zr
  Replies (20) Good night (6025) Bad night (919)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.

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  (918): I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains. http://tfl.nu/wys7
  Replies (7) Good night (2547) Bad night (816)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"

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  (712): she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays" http://tfl.nu/bldx
  Replies (4) Good night (2501) Bad night (925)
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  (408): View more from California

  Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.

  (831): View more from California

  You did a keg stand on the toilet?!

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  (408): Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying. (831): You did a keg stand on the toilet?! http://tfl.nu/1e43
  Replies (6) Good night (802) Bad night (1375)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer

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  (724): you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer http://tfl.nu/1l7a
  Replies (4) Good night (2182) Bad night (562)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.

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  (303): He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door. http://tfl.nu/ylk0
  Replies (3) Good night (1508) Bad night (583)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?

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  (563): Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him? http://tfl.nu/taqh
  Replies (5) Good night (1628) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.

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  (262): Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God. http://tfl.nu/qyus
  Replies (2) Good night (565) Bad night (265)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.

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  (405): I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot. http://tfl.nu/dd00
  Replies (2) Good night (744) Bad night (295)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...

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  (603): I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff... http://tfl.nu/2u8y
  Replies (2) Good night (282) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"

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  (305): I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court" http://tfl.nu/xin1
  Replies (1) Good night (542) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever

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  (410): I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever http://tfl.nu/pekg
  Replies (1) Good night (503) Bad night (196)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.

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  (717): We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex. http://tfl.nu/1as4
  Replies (1) Good night (672) Bad night (164)

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