Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"

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  (516): the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice" http://tfl.nu/bgbh
  Replies (18) Good night (3918) Bad night (949)
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  (646): View more from New York

  So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?

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  (646): So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name? http://tfl.nu/3tte
  Replies (6) Good night (764) Bad night (3700)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.

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  (609): I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish. http://tfl.nu/0wzx
  Replies (46) Good night (6284) Bad night (918)
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  (516): View more from New York

  You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online

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  (516): You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online http://tfl.nu/xicc
  Replies (11) Good night (4055) Bad night (1253)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged

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  (765): You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged http://tfl.nu/je5z
  Replies (8) Good night (1036) Bad night (3550)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.

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  (708): so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me. http://tfl.nu/mwnt
  Replies (58) Good night (14440) Bad night (1308)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.

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  (908): There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life. http://tfl.nu/ab1p
  Replies (87) Good night (7750) Bad night (1578)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."

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  (318): He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds." http://tfl.nu/nj0z
  Replies (4) Good night (2838) Bad night (769)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...

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  (512): Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation... http://tfl.nu/vkji
  Replies (3) Good night (2429) Bad night (1469)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?

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  (631): Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes? http://tfl.nu/b80v
  Replies (6) Good night (2195) Bad night (597)
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  (949): View more from California

  Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?

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  (949): Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday? http://tfl.nu/2an5
  Replies (7) Good night (1242) Bad night (749)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless

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  (904): the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless http://tfl.nu/5o22
  Replies (10) Good night (1878) Bad night (637)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.

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  (850): Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again. http://tfl.nu/pnzj
  Replies (1) Good night (1882) Bad night (870)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.

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  (613): You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you. http://tfl.nu/xki1
  Replies (6) Good night (1819) Bad night (736)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,

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  (479): I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women.., http://tfl.nu/6j57
  Replies (6) Good night (778) Bad night (262)

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