Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
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Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
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Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends