Texts From Last Night

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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.

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  (402): Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice. http://tfl.nu/dl8a
  Replies (9) Good night (934) Bad night (3774)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.

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  (610): We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other. http://tfl.nu/212r
  Replies (19) Good night (2123) Bad night (3315)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  we need to stop having unprotected sex.

  (1-319): View more from Iowa

  ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.

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  (319): we need to stop having unprotected sex. (1-319): ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores. http://tfl.nu/85im
  Replies (31) Good night (1287) Bad night (4297)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.

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  (413): All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet. http://tfl.nu/zopf
  Replies (13) Good night (3501) Bad night (1015)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion

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  (406): I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion http://tfl.nu/tw2a
  Replies (2) Good night (2895) Bad night (1222)
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  (347): View more from New York

  When are you not under some influence?

  (917): View more from New York City

  Since last Tuesday...yesterday.

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  (347): When are you not under some influence? (917): Since last Tuesday...yesterday. http://tfl.nu/zuz3
  Replies (3) Good night (1598) Bad night (747)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.

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  (719): Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life. http://tfl.nu/ggam
  Replies (4) Good night (2199) Bad night (1077)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car

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  (203): You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car http://tfl.nu/3edo
  Replies (2) Good night (1180) Bad night (608)
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  (510): View more from California

  Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me

  (206): View more from Washington

  That is an interesting fear as well as image

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  (510): Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me (206): That is an interesting fear as well as image http://tfl.nu/r0xy
  Replies (2) Good night (549) Bad night (587)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"

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  (+61): Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart" http://tfl.nu/icuk
  Replies (3) Good night (1794) Bad night (525)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over

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  (202): just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over http://tfl.nu/f4tt
  Replies (1) Good night (796) Bad night (341)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.

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  (309): Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time. http://tfl.nu/yqup
  Replies (1) Good night (427) Bad night (591)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.

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  (315): I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly. http://tfl.nu/59ai
  Replies (7) Good night (687) Bad night (475)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security

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  (479): He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security http://tfl.nu/nae6
  Replies (2) Good night (770) Bad night (333)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I think your dad took our porno

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  (573): I think your dad took our porno http://tfl.nu/zawe
  Replies (3) Good night (457) Bad night (871)

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