He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
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