that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
