I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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