i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I think people are normalizing furries
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
