The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
