i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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