Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
