if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
