The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
