I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
God I need to hump something, right now.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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