is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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