bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
