i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
