I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
