yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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