So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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