It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
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at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
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Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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