I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
